Content note: This article discusses mental health and suicide prevention. If you are struggling or need someone to talk to, call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Support is free, confidential, and available 24/7 in the United States or Canada. You do not have to be suicidal to get in touch.
September is Suicide Prevention Month, and we wanted to use this time to address something that affects far more people than we may realize.
We also wanted to approach the conversation in a manner that feels honest and human. Suicide prevention is a serious subject, but talking about it does not always have to begin and end at the darkest times. It can also include connection, hope, support, and the seemingly ordinary things that help us make it through a difficult day.
The small things are not a cure for depression, and they are never a replacement for therapy, medication, crisis care, or professional support. But small things can still matter. They can give us a place to pause, something familiar to hold onto, or one reason to see what tomorrow brings.
Sometimes, that is where hope begins.
For me, this is personal. A few days after I called the suicide hotline, I wrote 100 Things To Be Grateful for When You Don’t Think There Is Anything. I wasn’t suddenly okay, and I wasn’t trying to convince myself that gratitude could cure what I was going through. I was trying to find something—anything—that reminded me there was still good in my life, even when I couldn’t feel all of it.
Small Things Are Not Insignificant
When life feels heavy, people often talk about finding a grand purpose. We are told to chase our dreams, identify our calling, or make some giant change that suddenly makes everything fall into place.
That sounds lovely, but it is also a lot to ask from someone who is simply trying to make it through Tuesday.
During a hard season, the question does not always need to be, “What is my purpose in life?” It might be, “What could make today feel slightly more manageable?”
Maybe it is your first cup of coffee in the morning. Maybe it is the dog waiting by the door for a walk, the next episode of a show you love, a text from a friend, or the first cool day after a long summer. It might be a meal you want to make, a place you want to visit, or a version of your life you have not met yet.
None of those answers is silly.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention lists reasons for living—including friends, family, and pets—among the factors that can help protect against suicide risk. The CDC also identifies support and feeling connected to other people as protective factors.
That does not mean a pet, a hobby, or a morning routine can solve a mental health crisis. It means the pieces of our lives that give us connection and a reason to keep moving forward deserve more credit than we sometimes give them.
Give Yourself Something to Look Forward To
We tend to reserve anticipation for the big things: a vacation, a major celebration, or a long-awaited milestone. Those things are wonderful, but they cannot carry an entire year by themselves.
Life also needs smaller points of anticipation.
Put something on the calendar purely because you enjoy it. Plan breakfast at your favorite spot. Choose a trail or greenway for the weekend. Save a movie for Friday night. Order the book you have been wanting to read. Decide what you are going to cook when the weather finally cools down.
The plan does not need to be expensive, productive, or impressive enough to share online. It only needs to give you a small moment of, “I want to be there for that.”
Sometimes we need the big trip. Sometimes we need to know there will be pancakes on Saturday.
Both count.
Let Your Routines Carry Some of the Weight
Routines can be easy to dismiss because they are repetitive and ordinary. That is also what makes them useful.
On days when motivation disappears, a familiar routine can reduce the number of decisions we have to make. Open the blinds. Feed the animals. Make the coffee. Take the medication your healthcare provider prescribed. Step outside for a few minutes. Send the morning text.
These actions are not a test of whether you are trying hard enough. You do not fail because you cannot complete an entire morning checklist. If one familiar action helps you begin the day, let that be enough for the moment.
There is comfort in knowing what comes next, especially when the rest of life feels uncertain.
Pets Have a Way of Keeping Us in the Present
We cannot talk about the small things that keep us going without talking about animals.
For us, life with Rue, Bea, and Nugget includes meals that must be served immediately—according to them—walks, odd sleeping positions, random bursts of chaos, and plenty of moments that pull us out of our own heads.
Animals do not require us to explain why we are having a hard day. They simply sit beside us, follow us from room to room, or remind us that it is apparently time for dinner even though they ate twelve minutes ago.
Their companionship can create routine, connection, and moments of genuine laughter. Never use this to make someone feel guilty or responsible for staying alive solely because a pet needs them. Guilt is not the goal. The point is that connection can take many forms, and sometimes it has fur, four legs, and absolutely no respect for personal space.
We have written openly about understanding pet loss and finding support through grief, and that experience taught us never to underestimate the comfort and companionship animals provide.
Allow Other People to Help
Many of us are much better at offering help than accepting it.
We say we do not want to burden anyone. We assume everyone else is too busy. We decide that our problems are not serious enough to mention—or that they are so serious no one would understand.
Connection doesn’t require a perfect explanation. It can begin with one honest sentence:
“I am having a hard day and could use some company.”
“I do not need advice right now, but I would like someone to listen.”
“Can you check on me tomorrow?”
“I am not doing as well as I have been pretending.”
Some people want to show up for us, but they may not know we need them. Giving someone a clear, manageable way to help can make that first conversation feel a little less overwhelming.
You are also allowed to seek professional help before you reach a breaking point. You do not have to prove that things are bad enough. Support is for the days when you are struggling, not only the days when you can no longer hide it.
Make a List for the Days When You Cannot See Past the Moment
It can be hard to remember what matters when we are exhausted, overwhelmed, or hurting. A simple “reasons for tomorrow” list can help keep those things visible.
Your list might include:
- A person or animal you want to spend time with
- A place you still want to visit
- A meal you want to eat again
- Something new you want to learn
- A season you want to see arrive
- A book, movie, or show you have not finished
- A future version of yourself you are curious to meet
- A person you can contact when you need support
- A professional resource you can use during a crisis
Keep the list in your phone, beside your bed, or anywhere you can find it easily. Add to it whenever something gives you a spark of interest, comfort, or curiosity.
This list is not a clinical safety plan. If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, a mental health professional can help you create a safety plan that addresses your specific needs. The list is simply a reminder that our minds do not always give us the full picture when we are in pain.
You Do Not Have to Feel Grateful for Everything
Some wellness culture tries to turn every difficult experience into a lesson and every painful day into an opportunity for gratitude.
We are not interested in pretending that everything happens for a reason or that positive thinking can fix every problem.
Some seasons are genuinely painful. Some situations are unfair. Mental illness is real, and people can have loving families, meaningful work, adorable animals, beautiful surroundings, and still need serious support.
Noticing one good thing does not require you to declare the entire day good. It simply gives that one thing permission to exist beside the pain.
You can be struggling and still laugh at something ridiculous your dog does. You can be grieving and still enjoy your coffee. You can feel uncertain about your future and still want to see where it goes.
Two things can be true at the same time.
Keep the Small Things Close
The goal is not to love every day. It is not to manufacture happiness or convince ourselves that life is easy.
The goal is to notice what helps us stay connected to it.
For us, that can look like time outside, a bike ride, an upcoming trip, a familiar coffee shop, a quiet morning, or life at home with Rue, Bea, and Nugget. On another day, the list might look completely different.
We have also learned why spending time outside can make us feel better, even when all we can manage is a short walk, a bike ride, or a few quiet minutes in the fresh air.
What is one small thing keeping you going right now?
You do not need an impressive answer. You only need an honest one. Write it down. Tell someone about it. Ask someone you love what is on their list.
And if you cannot find an answer today, please let another person help you hold onto hope until you can see it again.
Mental Health and Crisis Support
If you are in the United States or Canada and need emotional support, call or text 988 or use the chat at 988lifeline.org. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is free, confidential, and available 24 hours a day. You do not have to be suicidal to contact it.
In a life-threatening situation, call 911, as advised by the National Institute of Mental Health.
If you live elsewhere, visit Find A Helpline or Befrienders Worldwide to find support available in your country. In a life-threatening emergency, call your local emergency number.
You deserve to see it get better.
FAQs | Frequently Asked Questions
Small comforts will look different for everyone. They might include spending time with a pet, stepping outside, following a familiar routine, talking with someone you trust, planning a favorite meal, or putting something enjoyable on the calendar. These things do not replace professional mental health support, but they can offer comfort and connection during a difficult moment.
Gratitude does not cure depression or replace therapy, medication, or other professional care. However, noticing one thing you appreciate can provide a small point of connection when everything feels heavy. Your answer does not need to be profound; a warm drink, a comfortable chair, or hearing from someone you love still counts.
Begin with specific people, animals, places, experiences, or everyday comforts you want to encounter again. You might include an upcoming plan, an unfinished book, your favorite season, someone you can call, or a future version of yourself you are curious to meet. Keep the list somewhere accessible, but remember that it is not a clinical safety plan. A mental health professional can help you create a personalized safety plan if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts.
