We used to think success meant constant motion.
When we ran our pet-sitting business, we were completely committed. We had no real boundaries, no weekends, and no off switch. Work didn’t simply demand our time—it became our identity.
We wore “busy” like a badge of honor.
Success meant more clients, more revenue, more recognition, and more growth. We built a six-figure business, won awards, and checked many of the boxes that were supposed to prove we had made it.
From the outside, we looked successful.
Inside that life, we were exhausted.
Eventually, we had to admit that the version of success we had worked so hard to create was making us miserable. That realization led us to sell our business, sell our house, downsize our belongings, move to the coast, and build a completely different life.
It also forced us to redefine success for ourselves.
What Does It Mean to Redefine Success?
To redefine success means deciding what a good life looks like based on your values rather than automatically accepting the traditional markers of achievement.
Money, growth, awards, promotions, and recognition can be part of success. But they do not have to be its entire definition.
Your definition might also include:
- Having control over your time
- Protecting your physical and mental health
- Spending time with people you love
- Doing work that reflects your values
- Having enough rather than constantly chasing more
- Being present during ordinary days
- Creating a life you don’t regularly need to escape
Redefining success does not require giving up goals or ambition. It means making sure your goals support the life you want instead of consuming it.
The Burnout That Forced Us to Reconsider Everything
Our old life was full of achievements, but it wasn’t full of fulfillment.
We had a packed client list, steady business growth, industry recognition, and calendars that left almost no blank space. We were doing everything we thought successful business owners were supposed to do.
We were also physically, mentally, and emotionally drained.
There was barely time to breathe, much less enjoy the life we were working so hard to build. Our health began to suffer. Our relationship with work became unhealthy, and we stopped feeling connected to ourselves.
As long as everything looked successful from the outside, we kept telling ourselves we were okay.
We weren’t.
Eventually, something had to give. We started asking a difficult question:
What if we had been chasing the wrong version of success all along?
What Success Used to Mean to Us
Our original definition of success centered almost entirely on measurable accomplishments.
It looked like:
- Maintaining a packed client list
- Reaching the next revenue goal
- Growing the business month after month
- Winning awards
- Gaining recognition within our industry
- Being needed by everyone
- Working even when we had nothing left
- Treating exhaustion as proof that we were doing enough
There is nothing inherently wrong with business growth, financial goals, or professional recognition. The problem was what those achievements cost us.
They cost us our time, peace, health, and joy.
We had built a life that looked impressive but didn’t feel good to live.
If reaching a goal requires you to continually sacrifice your well-being, it is worth asking whether that goal still belongs in your definition of success.
Leaving the Life We Had Built
Walking away wasn’t easy.
When your self-worth has been tied to productivity and profit for years, leaving a successful business can feel like losing part of your identity.
Who were we if we weren’t the people who worked around the clock?
What would other people think?
Would leaving mean that we had failed?
We didn’t have every answer. We only knew that continuing down the same road was no longer an option.
We eventually sold everything and moved to the coast. It was a major lifestyle change, but it gave us the distance we needed to consider what we actually wanted our lives to feel like.
The locations and details of our lives have continued to change since then. Our definition of success has evolved, too. The important part is that we now allow it to evolve.
Success is no longer a finish line someone else created for us.
Our New Definition of Success
Today, success feels very different.
It is quieter, more flexible, and connected to our values rather than our ability to remain constantly productive.
Our current definition of success includes:
- Having freedom within our days
- Spending time together
- Prioritizing our mental health
- Resting without feeling as though we have to earn it
- Creating work we care about
- Working with brands and clients that align with our values
- Having time for travel and everyday adventures
- Being available for the people and animals we love
- Recognizing when we have enough
- Building a life that feels good on an ordinary Tuesday
We still work. We still have goals, deadlines, and financial responsibilities. Redefining success didn’t make us allergic to ambition.
It changed what we are willing to sacrifice for it.
We no longer want growth at any cost. We want our work to fit within our lives, rather than forcing our entire lives to fit around work.
How to Redefine Success for Yourself
Redefining success is deeply personal, but you can begin by looking honestly at your current definition and where it came from.
1. Write Down Your Current Definition
Without overthinking it, finish this sentence:
I will know I am successful when…
Notice what appears in your answer. Is it a particular income, job title, house, audience size, relationship, lifestyle, or level of recognition?
Then ask whether you chose those markers or absorbed them from family, social media, your industry, or society in general.
There is no wrong answer. The purpose is to identify the definition already influencing your choices.
2. Identify What Your Version of Success Is Costing You
Every goal requires something from us. The question is whether the tradeoff is still worthwhile.
Ask yourself:
- What am I sacrificing to maintain this life?
- How is my work affecting my physical health?
- How is it affecting my mental health?
- Do I have time for the people and activities I care about?
- Am I enjoying what I have built?
- Would I choose this lifestyle again today?
Our old version of success cost more than we were willing to keep paying. We just didn’t recognize it until burnout made the cost impossible to ignore.
3. Separate Your Worth From Your Productivity
This was one of the hardest changes for us.
When productivity becomes part of your identity, resting can feel uncomfortable. A slow day can feel like a wasted day. Turning down work can feel irresponsible, even when you are already overwhelmed.
Your output is something you produce. It is not proof of your value as a person.
You still matter on the days when you accomplish very little.
This shift requires practice, especially after years of unlearning hustle culture. We still have to remind ourselves of it.
4. Decide What “Enough” Means
If you never decide what enough looks like, every milestone simply creates another one.
More money. More clients. More followers. More recognition. More stuff.
There will always be another level available, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend your life pursuing it.
Consider what enough means in different areas:
- How much income supports the life you want?
- How much work can you handle without sacrificing your health?
- How much space do you actually need?
- How many commitments fit comfortably into your week?
- How much free time helps you feel like yourself?
There is nothing wrong with not wanting more when you are satisfied with what you have.
Enough is not a lack of ambition. It is a boundary.
5. Describe Your Ideal Ordinary Day
It is easy to define success using major events: dream vacations, career milestones, retirement, or buying a particular home.
Most of life, however, happens on regular days.
Think about an ordinary weekday and ask:
- What time do I want to wake up?
- How rushed do I want to feel?
- What kind of work do I want to do?
- Who do I want to spend time with?
- How much rest or open space do I need?
- What would make the day feel meaningful?
- What do I want my Tuesdays to feel like?
A successful life should work on regular days, not only during vacations and highlight-reel moments.
6. Build Boundaries Around Your New Definition
A new definition of success does little good if your calendar still reflects the old one.
Boundaries might include:
- Establishing a firm end to the workday
- Leaving open space on the calendar
- Turning down projects that conflict with your values
- Protecting days off
- Limiting access to email or notifications
- Choosing fewer goals at one time
- Charging appropriately for your work
- Resting before you reach complete exhaustion
We once viewed boundaries as obstacles to growth. Now we view them as part of building something sustainable.
7. Revisit Your Definition Regularly
Redefining success isn’t a one-time decision.
What feels meaningful during one stage of life may not fit the next. Your health, relationships, location, finances, work, and priorities may all change.
Check in with yourself periodically and ask:
- Does this still feel like my definition?
- Am I slipping back into old habits?
- Does my calendar reflect what I claim to value?
- What is currently working?
- What needs to change?
You are allowed to adjust the plan.
What We Gained by Letting Go
Leaving our old business wasn’t merely a career decision. It became a complete lifestyle reset.
We gained time together.
We began noticing small joys again.
We created more space for travel, creativity, rest, our animals, and the experiences that make us feel alive.
We got to know ourselves—and each other—outside the identities we had built around work.
Once we stopped chasing every opportunity, we became more selective about which opportunities deserved our time. The right ones felt connected to the life we were building rather than the life we left behind.
We did not stop caring about success.
We stopped allowing other people to define it for us.
Redefining Success Does Not Mean Giving Up
There is a common misconception that stepping away from hustle culture means you no longer care about doing meaningful work.
That hasn’t been true for us.
We still care deeply about Arner Adventures. We still want our work to reach people, support our life, and grow in ways that feel right. We still set goals and occasionally become more stressed than we would like.
The difference is that achievement is no longer the only category on our scoreboard.
Our health matters.
Our relationship matters.
Our time matters.
The way an ordinary day feels matters.
Success is no longer about proving how much we can endure. It is about building a life we genuinely want to be present for.
Questions to Help You Redefine Success
If your current definition feels more like pressure than purpose, take a few minutes to answer these questions:
- Who taught me what success is supposed to look like?
- Which parts of that definition still feel true?
- Which parts am I ready to release?
- What is my current lifestyle costing me?
- What would I do differently if nobody else were watching?
- What does enough look like for me?
- What do I want an ordinary week to feel like?
- What am I unwilling to sacrifice for achievement?
- Which three values do I want my decisions to reflect?
- What is one change I can make this month?
You do not have to blow up your entire life tomorrow. Our change was dramatic, but redefining success can also begin with one boundary, one honest conversation, or one decision to stop chasing something you no longer want.
Success Should Feel Like Your Life
For us, success now means having a life we don’t constantly need to escape.
It means being present, protecting our health, doing meaningful work, spending time together, and knowing that more is not always better.
Our definition is still changing because we are still changing.
It isn’t flashy, and it isn’t always easy. But it is honest. It belongs to us.
You are allowed to build a definition that belongs to you, too.
FAQs | Frequently Asked Questions
Absolutely. Letting go of something we poured so much into was terrifying. But staying in a cycle of burnout and resentment felt even scarier. The risk was worth the clarity and freedom we gained.
We sometimes miss the people and creative aspects but not the pace or pressure. We’ve found ways to do meaningful work without sacrificing our well-being.
Yes! Redefining success doesn’t require quitting your job or making a major shift overnight. It starts with small mindset changes: questioning what you’re chasing and why and making intentional choices that feel more aligned with your real values.
